note: Re-Up! Tryna get some new readers while appeasing the old ones with a throwback joint that people appreciated. Ha.

you know exactly who that girl above is. sure, you don’t know her by name or anything like that. but you know the role she plays. she’s one of the two dimes in the subway ride home. like, cheat-on-your-girl, must-have dimes. i’m talking like spend-your-entire-paycheck-on-a-date type dime. it may sound intense, but i’m just being real. i’m a man, so i know how men think. even if they aren’t all that, you gotta show them some love, because they’re just right there on the train, posted like a mailbox. and they are dying to get hit on. or so you think.

some people have the balls to approach these girls. i call them the hero. gutsy, risk-taking dudes. they have pick-up lines for days, and they can start conversations anywhere, anytime. they don’t even care if the woman has worked 10 crazy hours in the office, because they know that they can make it all better. they believe they can fly, like jordan, or a pre-pee-on-you kelz. i just can’t fade it. i feel like the last thing they want is me tryna put that metaphorical bug in their ear, spitting game on the train. and i think that’s what qualifies me as a certified shy guy.

tabi‘s fly, but i’m shy.

what is a shy guy!? i haven’t even come up with the true definition yet. i just know how they act. shy guys only thrive in environments where there’s little or no pressure. like house parties where you know everybody. or like a school dance, because everybody you dance with, you sat behind in math class or their mom used to pick you up from the carpool line from school. or you took the bus one and a half hours with them every day. like me. or maybe i’m totally wrong, but you know what i mean. no pressure environments, you thrive. because you don’t have to commit to anything, or be too decisive.

the subway definitely isn’t that spot. too many unfamiliar faces. if you want anything to happen on the subway, you’ve gotta put yourself out there like max did in a goofy movie. and if you don’t know what i’m talking about, then that should be number one on the netflix queue. conversation is one thing, but conversation with one of those two dimes on the train is a completely different thing. and that’s why shy guys typically don’t do good work on the subway. the club is even worse, and i need a completely different entry devoted to that sometime in the future.

i feel like all shy guys eventually transition into the hero. it happens, but there’s a right time and place, and all that good stuff. karma, or something like that. i tried it one day. NYC. subway. last year. she was bad, too. like michael’s 3rd album, for real. dominican and black, i think. kinda like homegirl in the picture, sans the turtle neck. in fact, she was extra fly. dressed like she just came from brunch with jay and beyonce. i hit her with my camera while it was dangling from my wrist, and she just smiled. and then i worked magic.

her number is still in the phone book. 917…blah blah blah. and i fumbled it. she just never got the crucial call/text, and i don’t even know why. who knows. that’s probably why i don’t sport the cape and mask just yet. but i’m ok with that. besides, i got like a million and one things going on in my life, like that old juvenile song. but a girl ain’t nothin.

sike.

best wayne track i’ve heard in a minute, in all honesty. a lost track from that 2007 gangsta grillz album by DJ drama. it’s not yet complete, but almost there. dj drama in there as wayne’s boxing coach. pretty trill if you ask me. and lauren london is there cuz she’s about to have wayne’s million dollar baby. so eat it.

DOWNLOAD: Lil Wayne – Million Dollar Baby [feat. DJ Drama]

they were cool to me, just so long. i had to watch nitro circus, rob dyrdek’s new show, and tool academy anyway, so it all worked out with my time schedule. let me throw you a few videos of performances.

lil wayne feat. robin thicke – tie my hands:

kanye, jay-z, wayne, T.I. (when is he going to jail?) – swagger like us:

radiohead – 15 steps (didn’t think i bought this album online, did you? well, i did. so eat that.):

T.I. feat. justin timberlake – dead and gone:

coldplay – lost+ / viva la vida feat. jay-z:

any videos i should have included? if so, throw the links in the comment section and i’ll put them up. and word is, rihanna got smacked up by chris brown because she gave him the herp-a-derp. unfortunately, i have no footage of that event and it’s just a rumor. i feel homeboy, though. i’d do the same. smack her up. repeatedly. because the amount of time i was smacking her up is shorter than the amount of time i’d have herpes.

LOL. sike. i stole that line from somebody. but still, though. you can’t say it doesn’t make perfect sense, right?