Let’s keep it real. I don’t care who you are – jock, nerd, heart throb, class clown, recluse, homebody, mama’s boy, cool kid, shy guy – everybody who is anybody has a roster, girls and guys alike.
You know what i mean. a roster, a team, a squad. It’s far from that list of names in your favorite sports franchise’s brochure at the game; rather, it’s a term that my friends and i developed (no arguments here. we are, in fact, the originators of the term. If you believe otherwise and you’re looking for co-signers, you’re on the wrong blog. Go lobby for supporters somewhere else, because you’re S.O.L. on my turf.), and this is the perfect time to reveal the intricacies and inner workings of such an elaborate system.
note: the re-up is because i’m putting this in the hall of fame posts. it’s too crucial and important not to be there. everybody can relate.
you know exactly what e-game is. it’s the facebook message to that boy whose in your econometrics lecture and you’ve been dying to meet. it’s that blackberry message you send to the girl you’re kinda talking to right after she leaves your room that reads: “i really wish you woulda stayed here tonite… ” it’s that shameful mass instant message you (simultaneously) send to all your crushes when you’re intoxicated. good lord! say what you wanna say, but i’ve come to the conclusion that everybody is a lot of people are about e-game.
please, press play.
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e-game is the preferred method of flirtation communication because technology took over the world a few years decades ago. and frankly, we’re just busy as $#!t to get too personal with people these days. especially us college kids. i got feature writing assignments to do, entourage to watch, n64 to play, weights to try and lift, salmon to eat, and global power moves to make, etc. it’s not really convenient to invest too much time in communicating with anybody if it’s not through text, IM, etc. and that’s the truth.
i’ve broken down the positive and negative aspects of e-game down for you below. read on.
pros
-it’s like ’08’s version of the phone call. except more digital, kinda. and you can’t talk to 5 people at once on the phone (unless you want a five person conference call). with e-game, you can. with ease.
-you can multi-task extremely well. when your phone vibrates or your IM box flashes, it means someone cares enough about you to hit you up. and you can do this while doing virtually anything. dropping bills on some heels in the streets of georgetown, whispering sweet nothings into the ear of this long-hair-don’t-care PYT in the corner of the party, or (if you’re really grimy) while you’re in the bed with somebody else. yeah, i just went there. but i’m being real. at least you’re showing some love, right?
- you can be pretty darn bold. too shy to say stuff in person? dag, homie. sounds like a personal problem to me. but really, you can say some things that you may not be able to say in person via e-game. sounds lame, but it isn’t. but be careful! this can work against you. i’ll explain later.
- time lapses. you ever get asked a question in real life, and answer way too fast without thinking in depth about it?! with e-game, you can post up for a second and break it down, allowing enough time to do research (google, wikipedia, social networking profile stalking, etc.) to say exactly what you want to say. also, you can appear much more calm and collected via e-game. take your time answering somebody! go do a few pushups, or run to the dining hall before you respond. it illustrates your nonchalant attitude towards the situation, even if he/she has your heart beating in triple time. deceiving? probably. illegal? not a chance.
cons
- social awkwardness. you can be vicious with the words behind that smart phone or that computer screen (sup guys.) but you could be a lame in real life. wowzers. establish yourself as a healthy, sane human being early. meaning, try to balance traditional, face-to-face communication with the e-game. shoot, it’s 2008…skype them or hit ‘em with that video chat if need be. at least you’re making an honest effort.
- you can’t gauge emotion accurately. at all! all we got is smileys, a few phrases (“lol” is all i have in my arsenal), and caps lock. besides that, there’s not much more one can do to express themselves. so when someone says something via e-game, you don’t know exaaactly how they meant it. was it a joke? a diss? a flirtatious gesture? a warning shot!? YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW!
- you can be pretty darn bold. told you i’d come back to this one. if you’re too bold, you can get rocked. what do i mean!? well, don’t try and be slick and pull a romeo-esque line, cuz homegirl is gonna tell her homegirls, and they’ll secretly laugh at you behind your back whenever you walk by. you think you wooed her with that text, when in reality it was weaksauce. oh, and don’t use that camera phone too…liberally. remember what happened to neyo!? yeah, you better click that link if you don’t know. not for work safe, either. i’m tryna tell you, the walls have ears, eyes, and a meaaan set of fangs. you will get rocked like that the two in the picture you just checked out a few seconds ago.
- your e-persona doesn’t match your real life. before you decide to take on a life of e-game, make sure you are as cool in real life as your e-persona. you don’t wanna be that guy/gal who has great convos via text or IM, but when you actually go out to dinner with that person, you can’t even look them in the face or say the same jokes you used to use when spitting that e-game! and likewise, those getting spat e-game: watch out for these goons/goonettes! they’re ruining the reputation for those who are great e-gamers. don’t be all about business on the text and then get cold feet in person! it can make or break things.
that’s really all i can think of right about now. any more pros and cons? any falsehoods lurking in the text of this entry? agree? disagree!? talk to me, man.
re-up, i got writer’s block, hopefully seeing this up will give me the ability to write more articles like this. this is what i want the site to consist of, not just music. enjoy, it’s a throwback from last year.
press play to set the mood for this post. otherwise, it won’t be nearly as great.
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ahhhh, there we go.
there’s things that are innate, and there are things that are learned. hollering at a girl is a learned trait as far as i can tell. who knows where you pick it up. now, when i say hollering, i don’t mean facebook/myspace pimping. i mean finding her out and about in georgetown or on newbury street, giving her the crucial eye, or the smile, and going in for the kill. sometimes you get it, and sometimes you miss. sometimes you’re almost there, and you fumble it. allow me to illustrate the perfect metaphor. don’t even try and skip it. you need to see the clip.
good god! girls can be like that rabbit sometimes: evasive and elusive. some dudes have persistence, and some don’t care what happens in the end. they can deal with that rejection. they’ll find another rabbit chillin in another field. ain’t no biggie. shy guys can’t fade that. we don’t have time to be carried like the food you get from a carryout. shy guys are conservative for the most part, because those embarrassing moments are can bring that ego down to about a -2 on the 1-10 scale. no way josé.
do you think we want to be like this!? hell nah! we want to be able to sweet talk ladies like cory did topanga. and we can. we just didn’t develop that game in our younger days. or maybe we had it, but lost our touch when people got real sexy after puberty. whatever. my point is, unless you’re extra bold and can switch your style as dramatically as a bisexual, the chances of the skill of hollering won’t develop like one would like.
but like like wayne said on this song, where there’s a will, there’s a way. if you want to, you can do it with a crucial short cut. just like how baseball players have their steroids and hgh to hit barry bonds-esque homers, shy guys have liquor courage to spit vicious game. venomous. oh boy!
liquor courage, a phrased recently coined by my dude whose identity will be concealed for security purposes, is when you take a few drinks to the head, and then you hit the streets on a mean, mean mission to find the baddest joint out there. scenario: the club. you know every breezy in the joint is looking gorgeous. regardless of whether its natural beauty or just the make up, you want to talk to one of them! and yet, you’re frozen. shiiit. the power move!? the bar. or the pre-game. whichever floats your boat. the latter is typically cheaper, and more powerful. after that, you feel like superman, and anything you want can come out your mouth, with absolutely no remorse. college students, i know you feel me. as i am legally of age to drink alcohol, i can safely say that on those nights where i just may be twisted like some dreadlocks, i’ve done some great work. i’ll leave it at that. a wise man once told me, people love confident people. that drank will have you damn near cocky. even you’ll be surprised at the marvelous things you’ll be saying to your newfound lady friend. keep it under control, because liquor courage has a sweet spot. i know i’m in it when my vision is looking similar to this:
yessir. the sweet spot. a little blurry, but you still know what she looks like. once you exceed that, though, you could make the horrible mistake of hollering at a girl that looks like the main character from hell boy. or (arguably) worse, you could wake up like this guy:
not to scare you or anything. that’s just what it is. let me know if you can co-sign this liquor courage.
happy july 4th. i got hate texts for that roster post. and i’ve edited this charles hamilton post like 30 times.
whatever. get the charles hamilton mixtape on the right hand side of the blog. it’s the one with sonic the hedgehog on the cover. he has another joint out with like all the same songs except a few. so at the end of this post, collect those. meaning you get one mixtape, and then some loosies. thank me later.
charles hamilton > everyone but the elite. and don’t play like you don’t know who belongs in the elite. he’s coming for those spots very soon, too.
charles. 20 years old, harlem-bred, once homeless, and rhyme extraordinaire. he could probably rap in his sleep. herfection put me on with this 8 minute freestyle. he basically just woke up, hit the green lantern satellite radio show, and goes. and goes. and then goes some more. like 5 different beats. off the top. watch:
and i was told there’s a part two, which totals him spitting for around 20, 25 minutes. you gotta go find that one for yourself. two youtube videos posted back to back is one of the worst things a blogger can do.
good grief. like i said, get the mixtape on the right hand side. and i’m throwing you one bonus that should have been on the joint, too. exclusives, young. kinda. he didn’t give them to me or anything. but i got it though.
listen to where’s my f***ing genesis?
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yerp. and the update? he’s signed to star trak. i had no idea. welcome to the family though. good work, skateboard.my bad. rumors, rumor, rumors. his people hollered at me and shot down that rumor like duck hunter on NES. anyway, best cut off the mixtape right now is my wonderful pink polo. DL the joint to hear it. he remixed that kanye – i wonder cut, and did it justice. also, the smoking section just dropped an interview with him. check it out.
and one more thing.
him vs. kanye vs. game. how he got his shine in the first place.
” it’s that shameful mass instant message you (simultaneously) send to all your crushes when you’re intoxicated. good lord! say what you wanna say, but i’ve come to the conclusion that 
