Damn. Wizards guard/foward DeShawn Stevenson hasn’t been the same after losing his verbal spat with Nike’s newest poster child, ‘Bron ‘Bron, and then being called out by Hova on that diss track, “Blow The Whistle”. I don’t know what happened, but he’s cracked. Why? Well, look at the picture below.

Exactly. He’s f***ing up, man. He’s just tatted his FACE up. Didn’t he read my article on THE LINK BETWEEN FACIAL TATTOOS AND INSANITY!? According to myself, he’s certifiably insane. His reasoning for the tattoos are even more ridiculous. Read what he told the Washington Times:

“Stevenson is again sporting his beard, but vows to “keep it clean for the Wizards.” He had a close cut, but had a rat-tail. He also is sporting new ink. On his right temple, along his hairline is etched LONDYN, his 1-year-old son’s name. On his left cheek bone is inked the Pitsburgh Pirate’s ‘P’, “for the Pittsburgh, that’s my favorite team. Barry Bonds, when he first started.” The thing about the P is, however, that it’s backwards and looks more like a 9. DeShawn tried to explain, “No, if you’re standing where Dom’s standing and looking at me, it looks like a P.” … The final new tat is a crack on the left side of Stevenson’s forehead. He said it’s because “I don’t crack. I feel like people always try to break me, but I don’t crack. So, I put that there.”"

…wait, what the hell did you just say? You’ve tatted a backwards P to your face? I hope that joint is henna, dude. What’s even wilder is that he has those 5’s, and good ol’ Honest Abe tatted on his neck. What happened? Did he blackout at a Vegas casino and mobsters ruined him by tatting his face instead of collecting his debt? Did he go to the tattoo parlor and say, “what’s up dude, let me get the works. I want it all.” And did he really say that he doesn’t crack, so he tatted a crack to his face? He’s a crackhead for that one, literally. When I told Twitter Nation that our team need new players to make up for this disaster, my man Sam quickly reminded me about our off-season acquisitions:

Alright, well, somebody better step up to the plate. ASAP. I can’t take too much credit for the info, as Sporting News put me on, but cot damn.

while talking to my homie spence on twitter, i developed a vicious theory: everybody who puts a tattoo on their head/facial area is, by some degree, certifiably insane. let me illustrate my theory with a few examples.

1. michael gerard tyson, b.k.a. “iron” mike tyson

in 2003, iron mike decided to get a facial tattoo. it’s not all his fault. his life story is full of devastation and despair. arrested 38 times by the age of 13. a father who abandoned the family when he was 2, and a mother who died when he was just a teen. he was a good kid who was just misunderstood. all he had was boxing, and when his career took off and the money started to roll in, that’s when things took a crazy turn for the worse. do some research, you’ll see what i mean. in spite of all this, mike’s actions speak much louder than any words i can ever write. so watch, and tell me if you think he’s insane or not.

2. d’wayne carter, b.k.a. lil wayne

i’m not sure he’s actually insane per se. truth be told, wayne is a G. how many rappers can sell 2 mill in a week, especially in a recession-filled economy where downloading music is the preferred method of copping albums? how many rappers can jump on any song, regardless of the genre? how many rappers can get away with piercing their eyebrows or lips? how many rappers can kiss another man, talk about it on a song and interviews, and lose no fans? exactly. so is he insane? i’m not sure. is everything that he does and gets away with as a rapper? definitely. oh, and how much do you think those joints on his eye lids hurt?

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