Talk about e-game! This beats flowers any day, and it’s substantially cheaper (it’s free). Make somebody’s day by throwing them an audio postcard. They end up real chic, too. check it out:

I sent one to my mom for her birthday. (It’s today. If you know her, find her and wish her a happy birthday. Whatever you do, do not ask her age.) You know you wanna try it out too.

note: the re-up is because i’m putting this in the hall of fame posts. it’s too crucial and important not to be there. everybody can relate.

you know exactly what e-game is. it’s the facebook message to that boy whose in your econometrics lecture and you’ve been dying to meet. it’s that blackberry message you send to the girl you’re kinda talking to right after she leaves your room that reads: “i really wish you woulda stayed here tonite… ” it’s that shameful mass instant message you (simultaneously) send to all your crushes when you’re intoxicated. good lord! say what you wanna say, but i’ve come to the conclusion that everybody is a lot of people are about e-game.

please, press play.

e-game is the preferred method of flirtation communication because technology took over the world a few years decades ago. and frankly, we’re just busy as $#!t to get too personal with people these days. especially us college kids. i got feature writing assignments to do, entourage to watch, n64 to play, weights to try and lift, salmon to eat, and global power moves to make, etc. it’s not really convenient to invest too much time in communicating with anybody if it’s not through text, IM, etc. and that’s the truth.

i’ve broken down the positive and negative aspects of e-game down for you below. read on.

pros

- it’s like ’08′s version of the phone call. except more digital, kinda. and you can’t talk to 5 people at once on the phone (unless you want a five person conference call). with e-game, you can. with ease.

- you can multi-task extremely well. when your phone vibrates or your IM box flashes, it means someone cares enough about you to hit you up. and you can do this while doing virtually anything. dropping bills on some heels in the streets of georgetown, whispering sweet nothings into the ear of this long-hair-don’t-care PYT in the corner of the party, or (if you’re really grimy) while you’re in the bed with somebody else. yeah, i just went there. but i’m being real. at least you’re showing some love, right?

- you can be pretty darn bold. too shy to say stuff in person? dag, homie. sounds like a personal problem to me. but really, you can say some things that you may not be able to say in person via e-game. sounds lame, but it isn’t. but be careful! this can work against you. i’ll explain later.

- time lapses. you ever get asked a question in real life, and answer way too fast without thinking in depth about it?! with e-game, you can post up for a second and break it down, allowing enough time to do research (google, wikipedia, social networking profile stalking, etc.) to say exactly what you want to say. also, you can appear much more calm and collected via e-game. take your time answering somebody! go do a few pushups, or run to the dining hall before you respond. it illustrates your nonchalant attitude towards the situation, even if he/she has your heart beating in triple time. deceiving? probably. illegal? not a chance.

cons

- social awkwardness. you can be vicious with the words behind that smart phone or that computer screen (sup guys.) but you could be a lame in real life. wowzers. establish yourself as a healthy, sane human being early. meaning, try to balance traditional, face-to-face communication with the e-game. shoot, it’s 2008…skype them or hit ‘em with that video chat if need be. at least you’re making an honest effort.

- you can’t gauge emotion accurately. at all! all we got is smileys, a few phrases (“lol” is all i have in my arsenal), and caps lock. besides that, there’s not much more one can do to express themselves. so when someone says something via e-game, you don’t know exaaactly how they meant it. was it a joke? a diss? a flirtatious gesture? a warning shot!? YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW!

- you can be pretty darn bold. told you i’d come back to this one. if you’re too bold, you can get rocked. what do i mean!? well, don’t try and be slick and pull a romeo-esque line, cuz homegirl is gonna tell her homegirls, and they’ll secretly laugh at you behind your back whenever you walk by. you think you wooed her with that text, when in reality it was weaksauce. oh, and don’t use that camera phone too…liberally. remember what happened to neyo!? yeah, you better click that link if you don’t know. not for work safe, either. i’m tryna tell you, the walls have ears, eyes, and a meaaan set of fangs. you will get rocked like that the two in the picture you just checked out a few seconds ago.

- your e-persona doesn’t match your real life. before you decide to take on a life of e-game, make sure you are as cool in real life as your e-persona. you don’t wanna be that guy/gal who has great convos via text or IM, but when you actually go out to dinner with that person, you can’t even look them in the face or say the same jokes you used to use when spitting that e-game! and likewise, those getting spat e-game: watch out for these goons/goonettes! they’re ruining the reputation for those who are great e-gamers. don’t be all about business on the text and then get cold feet in person! it can make or break things.

that’s really all i can think of right about now. any more pros and cons? any falsehoods lurking in the text of this entry? agree? disagree!? talk to me, man.

the talented comedy troupe reckless tortuga makes a triumphant return. or maybe they’ve been making trill videos, i just haven’t been in the loop. whatever. enjoy this, you may laugh out loud. and the main actor looks like a combination of my man spencer turner and my other dude kendall “ice cream” cones. ha.

“i’m sorry, i’m a little bit early.”