Damn. Wizards guard/foward DeShawn Stevenson hasn’t been the same after losing his verbal spat with Nike’s newest poster child, ‘Bron ‘Bron, and then being called out by Hova on that diss track, “Blow The Whistle”. I don’t know what happened, but he’s cracked. Why? Well, look at the picture below.

Exactly. He’s f***ing up, man. He’s just tatted his FACE up. Didn’t he read my article on THE LINK BETWEEN FACIAL TATTOOS AND INSANITY!? According to myself, he’s certifiably insane. His reasoning for the tattoos are even more ridiculous. Read what he told the Washington Times:

“Stevenson is again sporting his beard, but vows to “keep it clean for the Wizards.” He had a close cut, but had a rat-tail. He also is sporting new ink. On his right temple, along his hairline is etched LONDYN, his 1-year-old son’s name. On his left cheek bone is inked the Pitsburgh Pirate’s ‘P’, “for the Pittsburgh, that’s my favorite team. Barry Bonds, when he first started.” The thing about the P is, however, that it’s backwards and looks more like a 9. DeShawn tried to explain, “No, if you’re standing where Dom’s standing and looking at me, it looks like a P.” … The final new tat is a crack on the left side of Stevenson’s forehead. He said it’s because “I don’t crack. I feel like people always try to break me, but I don’t crack. So, I put that there.”"

…wait, what the hell did you just say? You’ve tatted a backwards P to your face? I hope that joint is henna, dude. What’s even wilder is that he has those 5′s, and good ol’ Honest Abe tatted on his neck. What happened? Did he blackout at a Vegas casino and mobsters ruined him by tatting his face instead of collecting his debt? Did he go to the tattoo parlor and say, “what’s up dude, let me get the works. I want it all.” And did he really say that he doesn’t crack, so he tatted a crack to his face? He’s a crackhead for that one, literally. When I told Twitter Nation that our team need new players to make up for this disaster, my man Sam quickly reminded me about our off-season acquisitions:

Alright, well, somebody better step up to the plate. ASAP. I can’t take too much credit for the info, as Sporting News put me on, but cot damn.

his beard wasn’t anything to write home about, and i can safely admit that. but the hawk? oh, the hawk. that thing was a piece of work. extra points for the facial expression.

4. kimbo slice

this man’s hair is so impressive, i decided to throw up two pictures.

the first exhibits his healthy nest of a beard during a quick break during his intensive workout…

…but the second makes me wonder why he doesn’t just shave those side braids off. he gets an “A” for effort.

3. rick ross

rawrse. HUGE bonus points for a mini-ross sittin’ pretty on the belly, young. that’s a boss.

2. michael j. fox / teen wolf.

wow. i don’t have much to say, because i know you see it. netflix the jawn if you haven’t seen this classic already.

1. grizzly adams (right)

his swag is phenomenal. i don’t even know who this guy, but family guy put me on back in the day. see the clip at the end of the post.

honorable mentions:

zz top

deshawn stevenson/drew gooden beard contest (neither pic does them justice)

bonus clip:

yeah, that’s right. we have the man with the longest beard in the NBA, too. the same guy who called lebron james “overrated” and consequently had homeboy jay-z and the roc boys throwing verbal punches his way.

let’s see what deshawn stevenson has been up to in the off season.

who is the other guy? and do any of them know the words? couldn’t they have done some major editing?

[props: iGoon, via AIM]