note: it’s the week of the re-up. new readers love it, old readers loathe it, and i’m just tryna get my blog respect back. i put this in “hall of fame post” categories, and i’m looking for more to add to this section. let’s get it.

shy guys typically have visions of grandeur, but most times things just don’t work out in the end. keep living vicariously through those music videos, like this one.

that’s what the shy guy wants the club to be like. in reality, the club will never look like that unless you make 6 figures or higher, or are cool with the promoters. and even in those circumstances, you need to find some video vixens to sprinkle around the place, just to be safe.

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Clearly, that’s me. not in 5th grade though. More like when i was a toddler. but that’s not the point.

The point is, puppy love is something serious. Around valentine’s day, I got an email from an old friend. Her name? Christina Vittas. She was my first official girlfriend from back in 5th grade, and the e-mail was titled “5th grade love letters”. I already knew what was inside.

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note: Re-Up! Tryna get some new readers while appeasing the old ones with a throwback joint that people appreciated. Ha.

you know exactly who that girl above is. sure, you don’t know her by name or anything like that. but you know the role she plays. she’s one of the two dimes in the subway ride home. like, cheat-on-your-girl, must-have dimes. i’m talking like spend-your-entire-paycheck-on-a-date type dime. it may sound intense, but i’m just being real. i’m a man, so i know how men think. even if they aren’t all that, you gotta show them some love, because they’re just right there on the train, posted like a mailbox. and they are dying to get hit on. or so you think.
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Let’s keep it real. I don’t care who you are – jock, nerd, heart throb, class clown, recluse, homebody, mama’s boy, cool kid, shy guy – everybody who is anybody has a roster, girls and guys alike.

You know what i mean. a roster, a team, a squad. It’s far from that list of names in your favorite sports franchise’s brochure at the game; rather, it’s a term that my friends and i developed (no arguments here. we are, in fact, the originators of the term. If you believe otherwise and you’re looking for co-signers, you’re on the wrong blog. Go lobby for supporters somewhere else, because you’re S.O.L. on my turf.), and this is the perfect time to reveal the intricacies and inner workings of such an elaborate system.

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UPDATE: this is a throwback post, only to entertain in the downtime. and since i wrote this, i broke my rule on 7.18.09, when i went to station 9 and was leaning so hard that a clever girl with a great eye for a drunk guy got me. oh well. she was just at the right place at the right time. at least she was kinda cool.

i enjoyed my first weekend as (somewhat of) a college graduate recently, and i won’t lie – it’s more powerful than the typical college dorm get together. not to say that it’s better or anything; the two environments have completely different dynamics. at the college house party, you can have some b-ball shorts and one of these russian hats on and do better work than the guy who went to barney’s co-op and bought a whole outfit as long as you are smooth and keep people entertained. this “going out” stuff however, things aren’t as casual. you have to come presentable! if you’ll check the picture above, i’m the underdressed chump in the middle. if i didn’t have my man melvin (he’s in the all black. no games. promotes hard. let’s get it.) get me in for the freeskee, i’d be outside assed out with the promoters that hand out the flyers. pay close attention to the picture. i will refer to it again shortly.

friday i went to this afro beat event hosted by the lovely ladies behind lunch box theory (pics are here so you can get a nice visual…i think i’m in one.) and it was marvelous. i’m talking more east african nubian princesses than east africa itself. a very diverse crowd of people who came to have a good time and enjoy the eclectic sounds of DJ undadog and his african drummers rather than to stunt like the typical club/lounge situation. i think it was the best party i’ve been to in a while, and i thank everybody involved for that epic night.

saturday was also powerful in its own way. the picture you see above, with all smiles, is from an outing at a spot called republic. more for OG’s, me and my man spencer (checkered shirt, left-hand side. @drspaceman for you twitter fiends) somehow finagled our way in there without paying that $20 hit to the wallet. the hardest part about going out is the money for the alcohol. now, melvin and my homie daniel (aka @yebies for you twitter fiends) hooked us up with the majority of our drinks, but i did make it to the bar once to purchase my own concoction for me and spence. as i was ordering my drink, i heard some chit chatter to my left. as i turn, i discover it is the young woman pictured above. she’s talking about “…why don’t you add a jack and coke to that tab…” and tries to smile at me.

WHAT!?

chamillionaire once taught me, “if a skeezer, wants me to feed her, with my visa, then i’ma leave her.” now, she wasn’t a skeezer. that just sounds so god-awful. but how come when i was posted up like a stamp earlier she weren’t talkin about anything!? only when i hit the bar was she trying to milk me like a cow’s teats for some free drank. no way, josé. i don’t get it. i didn’t say anything crazy. instead, i pretended i didn’t hear what she said. “what was that?” she smirked and gave me one of those “nevermind” looks, visibly agitated. a few minutes later, she hopped in this picture with us.

what was my point behind writing this? that i will never ever purchase a drink for anybody i don’t know. it’s not my place. i know i’ll feel like if i buy them a drink, i deserve something in return. who knows what, and who knows why i feel like that. it’s only right if you purchase something, you get a product! conversation shouldn’t be purchased, should it!? but i know people who feel like buying drinks ain’t $#!t. that’s just how they get the night started. to each their own.

i want to know how guys and gals feel about drinks at the bar. hit the comment section and let me know.

note: the re-up is because i’m putting this in the hall of fame posts. it’s too crucial and important not to be there. everybody can relate.

you know exactly what e-game is. it’s the facebook message to that boy whose in your econometrics lecture and you’ve been dying to meet. it’s that blackberry message you send to the girl you’re kinda talking to right after she leaves your room that reads: “i really wish you woulda stayed here tonite… ” it’s that shameful mass instant message you (simultaneously) send to all your crushes when you’re intoxicated. good lord! say what you wanna say, but i’ve come to the conclusion that everybody is a lot of people are about e-game.

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e-game is the preferred method of flirtation communication because technology took over the world a few years decades ago. and frankly, we’re just busy as $#!t to get too personal with people these days. especially us college kids. i got feature writing assignments to do, entourage to watch, n64 to play, weights to try and lift, salmon to eat, and global power moves to make, etc. it’s not really convenient to invest too much time in communicating with anybody if it’s not through text, IM, etc. and that’s the truth.

i’ve broken down the positive and negative aspects of e-game down for you below. read on.

pros

- it’s like ’08′s version of the phone call. except more digital, kinda. and you can’t talk to 5 people at once on the phone (unless you want a five person conference call). with e-game, you can. with ease.

- you can multi-task extremely well. when your phone vibrates or your IM box flashes, it means someone cares enough about you to hit you up. and you can do this while doing virtually anything. dropping bills on some heels in the streets of georgetown, whispering sweet nothings into the ear of this long-hair-don’t-care PYT in the corner of the party, or (if you’re really grimy) while you’re in the bed with somebody else. yeah, i just went there. but i’m being real. at least you’re showing some love, right?

- you can be pretty darn bold. too shy to say stuff in person? dag, homie. sounds like a personal problem to me. but really, you can say some things that you may not be able to say in person via e-game. sounds lame, but it isn’t. but be careful! this can work against you. i’ll explain later.

- time lapses. you ever get asked a question in real life, and answer way too fast without thinking in depth about it?! with e-game, you can post up for a second and break it down, allowing enough time to do research (google, wikipedia, social networking profile stalking, etc.) to say exactly what you want to say. also, you can appear much more calm and collected via e-game. take your time answering somebody! go do a few pushups, or run to the dining hall before you respond. it illustrates your nonchalant attitude towards the situation, even if he/she has your heart beating in triple time. deceiving? probably. illegal? not a chance.

cons

- social awkwardness. you can be vicious with the words behind that smart phone or that computer screen (sup guys.) but you could be a lame in real life. wowzers. establish yourself as a healthy, sane human being early. meaning, try to balance traditional, face-to-face communication with the e-game. shoot, it’s 2008…skype them or hit ‘em with that video chat if need be. at least you’re making an honest effort.

- you can’t gauge emotion accurately. at all! all we got is smileys, a few phrases (“lol” is all i have in my arsenal), and caps lock. besides that, there’s not much more one can do to express themselves. so when someone says something via e-game, you don’t know exaaactly how they meant it. was it a joke? a diss? a flirtatious gesture? a warning shot!? YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW!

- you can be pretty darn bold. told you i’d come back to this one. if you’re too bold, you can get rocked. what do i mean!? well, don’t try and be slick and pull a romeo-esque line, cuz homegirl is gonna tell her homegirls, and they’ll secretly laugh at you behind your back whenever you walk by. you think you wooed her with that text, when in reality it was weaksauce. oh, and don’t use that camera phone too…liberally. remember what happened to neyo!? yeah, you better click that link if you don’t know. not for work safe, either. i’m tryna tell you, the walls have ears, eyes, and a meaaan set of fangs. you will get rocked like that the two in the picture you just checked out a few seconds ago.

- your e-persona doesn’t match your real life. before you decide to take on a life of e-game, make sure you are as cool in real life as your e-persona. you don’t wanna be that guy/gal who has great convos via text or IM, but when you actually go out to dinner with that person, you can’t even look them in the face or say the same jokes you used to use when spitting that e-game! and likewise, those getting spat e-game: watch out for these goons/goonettes! they’re ruining the reputation for those who are great e-gamers. don’t be all about business on the text and then get cold feet in person! it can make or break things.

that’s really all i can think of right about now. any more pros and cons? any falsehoods lurking in the text of this entry? agree? disagree!? talk to me, man.