Alright, even though im a little older (28 for yall that dont know, 8-11-80 = LEO), i used to go to the club and feel almost the same exact way that you do. i think it’s safe to say that im an above average looking dude (being modest here, im f*cking GORGEOUS!!) but the truth of the matter is that when you do walk in, just like you said, there is so much going on. Whoever i went to the club with, whether they were good looking or not, we always did the same thing. We would walk, pause for a few minutes and scoped the room, walked some more, and continued the cycle until we had seen pretty much everyone in the building several times. This way if i felt the need to pull a girl and talk to her, i would have made sure that we had seen eachother at least more than once and also made sure that she and i had eye contact for at least the same number of times. im not the most shy guy in the world (i think you win that crown modi) but i understand how it can be intimidating. Try out this method and you’ll see that rejection comes alot less, especially because the eyes dont lie and if you see someone more than once and you catch one another staring every time, it’s more than a 50/50 chance that she’s feeling you too and is waiting for YOU to go talk to HER.

Or, as i tell my assistant today (yeah i have one of those, and he’s 21 like you are…….ASK ABOUT ME!! LOL!….im really not conceited so bear with me) chase the money first and youll NEVER have to worry about women. With money it doesnt matter who the hell you are or what you look like, women will flock to you. Dont believe me?? Then please explain Jayz and Beyonce or Nick Cannon and whoever he decides to marry this week. These guys would be NOBODIES if they didnt have money and girls would probably shun them like modi does to ricky’s chancletas. Women are attracted to POWER and men are attracted to LOOKS and PHYSICAL attributes and could care less about a chick’s money. All that is just bonus, the same way if a girl finds a guy with money/power who is good looking, it’s just bonus for her. At the end of the day young bucks, chase the money and trust me, not only will your confidence (ie, swag-ger) go up, but so will women literally throwing themselves at you. Trust me on this one.

[...] guy in the club” AKA “you are out of your element, run” syndrome, over at dctobc.com. Check it [...]

Its a similar problem for tall guys at the club. At 6’6″ i stand approx 1 foot taller than most girls in the club. I can see everyone, and they can all stare at me. Dancing is not an option without some sort of alcohol.

Worst of all is I have to crouch over to speak to ANY females in the club and generally cant hear anything people are saying.

I agree with realestate
Chase money and the girls will chase you
a lot of the time ( with ppl our age) its status not solely money

Anyway

I agree that house parties are better! I tell all my close friends I fucking looove house parties. They are awesome and more fun in my opinion. I dont like going to clubs unless I know Im going to get in free with some sort of hook up lol I feel like im too important to pay for anything. Im a LEO so my EGO is super BIG hehe

you’re a genius.

Modi’s post pretty much sums up why I pretty much stopped going to clubs, if I can help it.

The club is by far the WORST. The WORST. In addition to the oft-pricey coat check (if there is any), the bloated cover charge, the $10+ drinks (NYC), the likelihood of sausagefestism and excess # of lump ass dudes who have likely already made things difficult for you by indiscriminately sowing the earth with their wack ass lines, the subpar music selection (the same Top 40 type bull I avoid even when I’m listening to the radio — not to get down on the mainstream, but how many times can you play Buss it Baby in a 3-hour sitting? Mix it up, nyuccas!)

Shiiiiit, that’s good grocery/clothing money being lost right there.

And as for the women, don’t get me started.

For the most part, chicks go to clubs to have fun with their girlfriends and to get an (sometimes much-needed) ego-boost by turning down the scores of dudes that will inevitably come their way.

Truth be told, cool chicks can be found at the club, but are they really worth trying to seek out amongst the sea of fakers?

Dealing with the b.s. and the trouble, the endless excuses– “I’m tired,” “I’m hot,” “maybe later,” “I’ll save you a dance,” having to infiltrate the infamously impregnable circle of friends?
The back and forth “what’d you say?” and “huh?” that causes you to reduce your conversation into a series of banal questions from the fatigue of trying to shout over the extra-loud speakers, only to be cut short altogether by her cockblocking (and usually markedly uglier) friends, who pull her away through the crowd, never to be seen from again, until, maybe the end of the party, when all approaches appear desperate and ill-placed.

If you like clubs, have the money, patience or just generally don’t care, by all rights, do your thing. But as for me, I’mma keep on with what is slowly becoming my soon to be 21-year old mantra–work your hustle…do your thing…stack your paper.

House parties…Maybe a bar or a lounge, but no clubs.

house parties are better…something where you can meet your friends’ friends and be like “Yo, what’s the deal with her?” Approach, friendly converstation “Oh yea you know Jack right, grew up with him since we were three.” Plus house parties can range from being outright crazy to grown and sexy…inside and an outside…no attire really…beds…beds…haha…

Clubs could have ruined my summer because it just costs too much money..I’m always in there with friends so we could have saved our money, got a bottle of Goose, gone out to dinner, and have a grand ol’ time…Bars and lounges are the key…But I’m all about lounging in the crib…yzr

LOL @ Tjett!!! I completely cosign all of that!!

“The back and forth “what’d you say?” and “huh?” that causes you to reduce your conversation into a series of banal questions from the fatigue of trying to shout over the extra-loud speakers, only to be cut short altogether by her cockblocking (and usually markedly uglier) friends, who pull her away through the crowd, never to be seen from again, until, maybe the end of the party, when all approaches appear desperate and ill-placed.”

CLASSIC!!

lol. i think all those things have happened to me (and keep happening) but fuck it i keep pushing.

anyway, fly ladies, ballers, shy girls/guys, cool guys/girls, rockers…

come to this:
http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg35/camlatimer/COOLER.jpg

and let’s have a good time w/o the pressure

so…from the female perspective…as someone has already mentioned most of the time us females go to the club to have fun (and get free drinks). that’s just the reality of it. the club is not set up for a conversation which is why most clubs conversations go so horribly wrong.

before you, shy guy, even get up the nerve to approach…i have already been fondled while walkin thru the crowd, grabbed, bothered with horrible pick up lines, dealt with horrible dancers if i have danced at all, and any of the other perils that come with going to the club. no offense to you of course, but at that point i could care less about anything you have to offer me, i just want to dance. then the few times we take that risk and give some guy our number, he ends up being a crazy person or whack or something else is wrong with him.

so my advice to you is: do not enter the club with the intent of picking up girls. now i know this may sound silly to you guys out there but it’s the best advice i have. because more often than not you will be very disappointed if that is your end goal.

as someone also said before me a bar or a lounge is much easier and i’m more inclined to care about what you have to say.

Dizz, even though i probably agree with most of what you said, cant the argument also be made that MOST (not all but MOST) of the females who are in the club are dressed and present themselves in the same manner as the guys who jump in the water during shark week on discovery channel. MEAT EVERYWHERE! Now i am not condoning ANYONE putting their hands on any female unless it is with consent, but if females are going to come into the club wearing nothing but dental floss and high heels, then is it wrong if guys perceive those females as “hoes”? isnt she wearing a hoe’s uniform (copyright Dave Chappelle)? Is it REALLY necessary to come dressed this way to the club ONLY to, “to have fun (and get free drinks)”??? i mean if you were only going to the club to have fun, then why loosen up the dress code? Im sure the majority of the females in the club dont dress like that in everyday situations.

Let’s be real here. Females go to the club to get ego boosters and to leave feeling good about themselves (copyright Tjett). Yes, this doesnt apply to all females, but to most. Clubs are meat markets, and women LOVE the attention they get from guys, even if it’s the ugly guys. Men go to find women (no other reason really) and women go to “scope out some guys” and “have a good time”. if they dont see anyone they like or even worse, they do see a guy they really like but they know HE (i.e. ME) wouldnt show them the time a day, they still leave feeling really good about themselves since they know they dissed alot of the b-squad guys that THEY felt were not in their class.

It’s a vicious cycle yet everyone keeps going back.

so through a random series of events i ended up taking a hefty power nap starting at about 10pm last night and as a result have found myself surprisingly lucid at this early hour.

just some more thoughts in light of the comments posted after mine…
i can appreciate the whole meat market thing, but i mean, chicks should be able to dress provocatively w/o having to worry about getting fondled. if women can’t go out and show a little leg, etc. without having to worry, then by that logic they should never show anything, come to the club in sweats, and i don’t think that’s what anybody wants. fellas need to learn how to keep their damn hands to themselves until they get the word.

which brings me to my question. is the shy guy’s primary difficulty caused by prudy females or by the lump ass dudes fucking shit up for the rest of us? is it the chicken or the egg?

more importantly–

is the volume and frequency of wack ass approaches so bad that it has led women to cease giving guys the benefit of the doubt altogether, resulting in a (I hesitate to condone this but)–necessarily preemptive response of the oh-so discouraging cold shoulder, the impenetrable stone-face, or a standoffish variation thereof regardless of the situation? If so, (and I do fear this is becoming the case) who is to blame? My chauvinistic instincts would lead me to be loath to air the dirty laundry about my own kind, but I gotta say, maybe we who are men of quality need to somehow find a way to educate our lump ass peers. How? I’m not sure. However, I for one do not want to wake up in a day and age when scenarios like the following become the norm.

Read on for a longwinded anecdote that inspired the above question -

earlier, i’m out at the neighborhood spot, Habana Outpost, in Fort Greene, BK – http://nymag.com/listings/restaurant/Habana-Outpost/
a spot which many a fly lady has been known to frequent and many a guy has been known to post up in a young tee while on the prowl. today I found myself in such a position, not really prowling ’cause I’m rolling solo (and every dude knows you can’t post up solo and try to make moves without lookin’ creepy)

anyways, i’m just out here ’cause i needed some air, diggin’ the scene, leant up on a bike rack, too cheap to buy the $3 plaintains or the $7 frozen margarita, and i see some chicks outside buying some sugar cane from a dude that i think is rippin’ them off. now, i’m not really looking to holla, especially as 1. considering they’ve seen me posted up for so long, it would just be too easy for them to write me off as one of the solo prowlers, like that one dude with the too-tight blazer and five o’clock shadow who is clearly too old to be in the club and needs to be at home trying to hustle to catch up on child support payments…2. these chicks aren’t really on their A-game at this time of day, nor are they that cute, (not that i’m _____ myself) but nevertheless, when I go to ask one of them whether they actually just spent $4 on the small ziplock bag of sugar cane blocks offered to them by mr. cleo himself–”excuse me, hey excuse me,” the chicks act like they can’t hear me. and i know they hear me. i’m four feet away, posted up on a damn bike rack. you know i’m there, and i even exchanged an eye with one of your more comely companions. but still, i’m not even trying to holla, i genuinely just wanna know if you spent $4 on that damn sugar cane.

now what kind of world is it where a dude legitimately can’t make some conversation without getting ignored? i understand that “excuse me” comes off as one of the many boilerplate entry points into an approach that every woman fears, but as i said, I’ve been posted up too long to be seen as making an approach w/o looking like a loser and y’all really don’t look that good in the first place–i mean, you got a hat on matting down a dried perm, your one friend has so much make up on it’s cakin’, etc. etc. it boggles the mind.

this is the funniest shit ever.
i think that that was me and my friend chi tjett.
i mean im not sure bc neither of us have perms or alot of makeup on, but maybe you were speaking of carole and zewidi. which would make the sitch even funnier.
this is why i love this modi! lol.
anywho- honestly, i really thought you were trying to talk to someone else, and if she wasnt trying to respond then who am i to make her? much apologies sir. and thanks for saying im not that cute anyways- kinda stung, but its cool, i can get over it. at least you didnt say ugly right? lol.

but back to the matter at hand.
the problem definitely stems from the abundance of whack guys, with lame lives and personalities that leave much to be desired. i know its not fair, but if you hear: “hey sexy,” are honked at and grabbed at all day, then its hard to wanna stop for that one decent looking guy. just think- how easy was it to get numbers back in the day? i know i used to give my number to so many more ppl when i was younger, and i think its bc on one hand i still was kinda awkward.lol. but also bc i hadnt gotten my fill of despicable dates and dudes yet.

and another thing. i hate the club. the only reason i do like it is the prep b4 (tmi is sorry.lol.) and getting my “hoe uniform” just so with my friends, some drinks and some music. i also have a bf so that makes the club kinda a strain sometimes, what with the groping and what not. LONG LIVE HOUSE PARTIES!

lmao…i don’t know what other women go to the club for, but my ego is fine without ass grabs and arm tugs. tjett said it best, regardless of what a woman is dressed like that doesn’t mean you should touch her unless she gives you some kind of signal to. i mean im not the naked type but if they like it i love it. stop the hate in 08!

i also agree us females can be extremely mean when rejecting guys. women can be brutal. maybe it’s cuz i’m from the south (atl) but it’s perfectly normal for random people to talk to you….on the street perhaps. but the club is just too hard. i gotta stop listenin to the music AND stop dancin so we can do this whack ass ear whisper yellin thing. nah. not coo….well rarely coo.

“they do see a guy they really like but they know HE (i.e. ME) wouldnt show them the time a day”….realestate…good grief…i know you don’t need any ego boosters in the club. i guess you’re talking about those “naked club girls” tho.

lmfao!!!! The world is so small. We all were excited to buy sugar cane because we hadn’t had it in ages. I wonder if this really is the guy Tiye. That guy was on the phone – seeming to be really into his convo lol- AND 2 out of 4 of us are natural. This shit is beyond hilarious though.

LOL!!! oh shit modi, youre making sugar cane love connections on your site now!! what a wonderful story………awww………

dizz, i dont go to the club anymore. it’s been about 4 years since (im 28 for Christ’s sake). But to answer your question, no, i dont need an ego booster from anyone or any woman. i dont think it can get any higher. im happily……….errr………well im married and have a wonderful soon to be 4 yr old daughter (“happily married” is such a strong phrase and may also be an oxymoron, but that’s another story). Nevertheless, my priorities today are much different then they were 4 years ago.

I agree with pretty much everything you and tjett have said. i agree that much of this is caused by the cornball guys who keep doing and saying the same things when they confront women, BUT it isnt all their fault as females obviously play a major part in this mess as well. i dont think females should dress with sweats or anything like that when going to the club, but there are obviously more dress options available than just sweats and dental floss available at your local mall, flea market, tj maxx, lerners new york, or lane bryant. i also dont condone any woman being touched (as stated before), but i think that females need to understand that if they dress and act a certain way, then maybe, just maybe, some guys are going to take everything as misleading and treat you like a hoe or judge you by the way you are carrying yourself. im not saying it’s right, im just saying that females should know better. to most people perception is reality, right? it’s like Dave Chappelle said “im going to start walking around in a police officer’s uniform and the moment a women who just got robbed comes running at me for help, im going to tell her, ‘Lady just because i am DRESSED like a police officer DOES NOT MEAN IM A POLICE OFFICER!’” The shit can get really misleading. and if this is the portrait that many females paint to men, then men will start treating them as such. same can be applied to music videos. misogynistic rappers pay females very low amounts of cash (some dont even get paid anything at all) for them to walk around in videos wearing nothing but fishing line and clear heels while they get champagne shot in their hair and eyeballs. and what by chance are those rappers talking about in their lyrics?? right……….im pretty sure it isnt pro-woman lyrics if you get my drift. when these videos hit the mainstream, young women (not all but many) see this and think that it’s acceptable to act in such ways. all of this produces a cycle of repetitiveness and damage.

im not saying that men are not at fault either. i knew guys that didnt respect ANY females at all. whats important for everyone to understand here is that there are more than just stereotypical men and women out there. all men are not dogs and all women are not hoes. SOME men are dogs, and SOME women are bitches/hoes, but not all. So when a guy comes up to you women, instead of not looking at him while you are in the middle of purchasing sugar cane from an undercover cop, if you hear him (because you KNOW you heard him) look at him, answer his question and keep it moving. if he’s a creep that wont leave you alone, well THEN put his ass in his place. but there’s no need for the attitude initially. same thing goes for men. dont touch any women unless 1. she’s handing you some money and you accidentally touch her hand while selling her some sugar cane or 2. she gives you consent. and definitely dont talk to women like they’re all hoes, because they’re all not. if you think they are, then what makes your mom different?

And for the club, why would a guy try to holler at a girl on the dancefloor anyway? cant you just give eachother the “you wanna talk afterwards?” yell and keep it moving. if it’s meant to be, then you’ll see eachother again and get to exchange contact info. trust me im a former club connoisseur. i know these things.

dear lord, i pray that the world is not this small, but knowing how things are, it probably is.

tiye and chioma, if y’all were part of that group of chicks i saw yesterday, let me just emphasize that i actually do not recall what you were actually wearing and that my descriptions of “not that cute,” “caked up make up,” “dried perm,” “not on their a-game” and the like were intentionally hyperbolic terms that i contrived to underscore my surprise regarding the whole situation in general and are not necessarily indicative of my opinions of those particular females whatsoever. by 5 o’clock in the morning, i had little to no accurate remembrance of what those women actually looked like and so i had to throw something together to make a point. let me just add that i love natural hair, sundresses, brooklyn women and black women in general.

see how miscommunication between the sexes can lead to such terrible happenings? this is why we need to facilitate dialogues between males and females and the community at large, so that the healing can begin.

*tjett stays inside and does not venture outside for the rest of the summer*

LOLOLOL

oh my god. first off, tahir and chioma and zewidi and whoever was out there….all y’all, if you actually spoke to each other, you would have been fine. and cool. and you would have hung out and shit.

i’ll say this on tahir’s behalf. we call girls that are sexy “not that cute” because they just played us. we are upset, and it’s the best way to vent, because it instantly evens the playing field. so honestly, that’s what it is. we all know you girls are sexy. you know it too. we just gotta say it.

now if tahir had SUCCESSFULLY gotten your attention, he would have written this success story talking bout “and these 3 dimes that i just ran into and chatted up for a bit…” etc.

LOL you all know i’m right.

time to read into real estate’s words!

“i also dont condone any woman being touched (as stated before), but i think that females need to understand that if they dress and act a certain way, then maybe, just maybe, some guys are going to take everything as misleading and treat you like a hoe or judge you by the way you are carrying yourself.”

exactly! in my younger, wilder days, i used to run through jumpoffs like 50 cent does groupie hoes and you they are easy to find because they are the ones who look like they are just itching to get it. so if a girl gets her poontang tickled up on, she can’t complain, because the dude can basically see it so he might as well touch it if you want it seen.

LOL! That’s real talk….there’s nothing like a good old-fashioned house party. clubbin has become wayyyy too much of a mission. this post hit the nail right on the head in regards to the hassle. it’s a war goin on. signing off!

have you ever thought that girls just like to look sexy? i mean not specifically for guys, but just to look in the mirror and say “GOT DAMN IM FOXY!”?

i know this issue could go on forever, because everyone has their own reasons to do their own thing, but its unfair to categorize everyone that is dressed provacatively as a jumpoff that would like to have their poontang tickled.

im just sayin.

and tahir/ tjett do your thang mane. no hard feelings over here.

@cannon…lol oh gawd…”because the dude can basically see it so he might as well touch it if you want it seen.” (shakes head and takes a minute) so what if i’m covered up and someone decides to “tickle up on my poontang”? lol then what? and if you’re basing it off of if a chick is virtually naked or not where is that line drawn? can i show cleavage? can i wear tight jeans? do i have to be wearing floss? is shorts too much? when does one become naked? i do understand that some chicks ask for “extra attention” but just because they got it out there does not mean touch. it may mean look, perhaps…but touch, no. naked girls deserve respect too! right? no wait…let me stop lol.

lmao realestate @ tjmaxx and flea market…and i totally agree with what you’re saying. modi what u talkin bout its gettin heated? who’s heated? lol…

Wow! I’d just like to say that I’ve been molested (yes, molested!) at parties (house/club/other) wearing simply jeans and a t-shirt. And I never walk out of my house in anything I wouldn’t want my neighbors to catch me in. I’m classy but I reserve the right to be sexy when the mood strikes me.

The truth is, fellas, at least one guy in the room is going to treat a girl like trash just because he can. Especially at a party where it’s dark and he can get away with it. Every single time I’ve been ready to “confront” someone for touching me quite inappropriately, I’ve turned around to find no one! Straight up, someone smacked my ass repeatedly once! What the hell is that????? It’s humiliating and demeaning (I personally don’t know any girls that would be okay with this.) and I’m putting it out there so that you guys understand how a girl feels when you say ‘if you look like a hoe, you’re a hoe and I’m gonna treat you like a hoe.’ “Perceive” me as anything you like! But, damn, until you “know” me, treat me like a lady! Even though I’ve never dressed like a hoe in my life, it doesn’t even matter much how I dress. Some guys just don’t care and they do ruin my attitude for the night. So the answer to some previous question is yes, women are more closed off the older they get because they have to deal with grimy ass dudes when they’re just trying to have a good time!

But the issue is “clubs or house parties” so I’ll say this: to me, the only difference between a club and a house party is that I get to wear better outfits at the club. Money is hardly an issue for me because I’m a girl and things tend to be free before 11 p.m. (Haha!)

By the way, a guy asking for my number does not automatically equal ego boost. If we’ve had an intellectual conversation, I think you’re cute and you’ve asked for my number, well then yea, I feel pretty damn good. So parties in general are horrible places for that. I don’t go to clubs looking for guys anymore. That’s kinda high school to me and sketchy too. I go to dance and occasionally get inebriated while doing so.

modis right tahir and tiye almost had a collision!!!!!!

collision? is that slang for something?

look, man…
FUCK these clubs
house parties and cookouts w./sound systems & performances all day
club = wack opportunity to TRY to impress females that don’t really deserve the extra attention and effort being thrown out there
why get super-dressed up to find a fuck joint at the club when i can go to a house party or cookout on my chill fresh tip and get a female with a brain and good looks who likes to just chill as much i do?
STOP…think about it.

Peace & Hip-Hop
Lyriciss

Maybe you all need to let this statement soak in:

“im not saying that men are not at fault either. i knew guys that didnt respect ANY females at all. whats important for everyone to understand here is that there are more than just stereotypical men and women out there. all men are not dogs and all women are not hoes. SOME men are dogs, and SOME women are bitches/hoes, but not all. So when a guy comes up to you women, instead of not looking at him while you are in the middle of purchasing sugar cane from an undercover cop, if you hear him (because you KNOW you heard him) look at him, answer his question and keep it moving. if he’s a creep that wont leave you alone, well THEN put his ass in his place. but there’s no need for the attitude initially. same thing goes for men. dont touch any women unless 1. she’s handing you some money and you accidentally touch her hand while selling her some sugar cane or 2. she gives you consent. and definitely dont talk to women like they’re all hoes, because they’re all not. if you think they are, then what makes your mom different?”

i dont condone any one being touched or even cursed at or talked down upon. let’s just think about what’s really going on here. tiye, you ask if girls may just like to look sexy, well to answer that (and dizz about the cleavage thing too) WOMEN ONLY DRESS UP FOR ATTENTION!! Same goes for men. the whole putting on makeup, showing your ass cheaks, cleavage, etc, etc, is just for show and is for attention. WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH DENIAL about this?? Same goes for men. Men only get haircuts, wash our cars every other day, try to get the perfectly matching clothes, workout, and everything else for one single reason; WOMEN/attention…….(well some guys do it for men, but that’s a whooole different topic)………..

When i was in the navy i was on a ship with 300 other guys and no women. while underway for long periods of time ,we wouldnt shave, get haircuts, or any of that because there were no women on the ship. Oh but when it was time to pull into port, it was a complete run for the showers and mirrors at that point. Same goes for women. All of it is for attention and possible attraction of the opposite sex. Im a good looking guy and married at the same time, but i do like to take care of myself as well, i like a clean car, freshly pressed suit, clean everything, and im not looking for other women, BUT i still do love the attention. that ladies and gentlemen, is why we do it. for the attention. Let’s just be real about this.

Wow…so many things to touch on.

1. the food at Habana Outpost is bananas…actually…it’s plaintain…but i digress.

2. Let’s be real…women go to the club dressed the way they do, not for men…but to upstage other women. Which is why tiye said the best part about going to the club is the prep before w/ her girls.

3. If women don’t go to the club to meet men….Shy guy….listen to Dizz when she says “do not enter the club with the intent of picking up girls.” To add to this…the best thing a guy can do is show up to the club w/ a good group of friends and have a damn good time. (side note…fellas…the club is not the mall….and you are not still in high school…don’t show up with 10 goons and cirlce the joint looking for a group of girls to talk to. Contrary to your belief…there are not power in numbers.) again…i digress. My point was… Girls notice when a guy is simply at the club to have a good time vs. the man on the prowl. (if you’re only 5’9″ such as myself…you might wanna find a couch to stand on while you two-step so you can be spotted from afar haha) And it doesn’t hurt to have a wing “person” like Chantal Ashley Mackenzie Tate in your camp either. (facebook her….her wing “person” game is plantains! (i know it wasn’t funny the first time but i’ma run w/ it)

4. House parties and lounges are by far the best settings for mingling w/ the opposite sex, butttt…..if the let out in NY was anything like it is in DC…it would make trips to the club SOOO much more worth it for the shy guy!!

But until that day….get a “play sister” like mine and keep it one hunnit….girls will notice.

lol @ Sugar Cane …where the hell in bk was someone sellin sugacane??? I want somee!!!

But anyway Great Topic Mod! … Clubs are absolutely horrendous for the shy guys. Nowadays going to the club on intent to meet a nice young lady to engage in great conversation , walk to the train /cab ,exchange digits and receive a good night hug.then go ” ahh i love her brain “(Get your mind out the gutter) … is nearly non existent. Its unlikely that you would get much conversation out of a female upon meeting her at a club. As stated before there’s too much going on . loud music , very drunk dancers bumping into you, her homegirls congregating preparing formation for the great Cock Block play.. etc

House parties and lounges allow you get more of a vibe and actually occupy yourselves with conversation. Not as awkard as corny pick up lines (non nearly as flawless as these http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH4BJ9B1lrw )I think women tend to let their guard down significantly in these types of settings (…just my opinion)

I would say however that girls love the attention they get. If you went to the club in your “whores uniform” …..excuse me …sexy ass dress and not a guy from 11pm – Last Call came up to you asking you for your number or innappropriately ( or appropriately) tried to touch you .. (not that im condoning that) most of you would probably freak out and start doubting how pretty you are.

But to end my rant… we understand that guys approach females wrong at times and it can get frustrating , but i believe your response should be provoked by the approach. How’s the shy guy supposed to know that 5 other guys came to you with the “yo baby yo” (lol) as he approcached you with his “excuse me miss” and you tore him to pieces…… SHAME ON YOU !!! LOL

yo i’m just blown away by the fact that the video i put up features roger from cot damn “sister, sister” and he’s nice with it. “ladies show me luuuuuuohhhuhhhvvee!” you heard that break down?

guys can be little bitches too. in atlanta you can hold a good conversation with anybody just for the sake of good conversation. but i’ve had one too many experiences when at the end of said conversation– it’s time for me to go and i don’t give up my number. the smile is turned right upside down and i usually get something along the lines of “fine you’re ugly anyway!” And who wants to go through that?

I typically start up convos with anyone whose willing to listen. But I’ve learned I can’t do that with people of the opposite sex no matter WHERE I am. Because guys allllwaayysss think you’re tryna holler.

so yes. arrogant losers ruin it for everyone.

thas wassup…

appreciate that tiye. (that dude in the snug red graph tee and the black hat posted outside habana on saturday really wasn’t me by the way ;^D)

anyways, enough of all this shy guy bull. life is way too short. i’m bout to start using those fresh prince lines.

“girl, i wish i could plant you and grow a whole field of y’all!” i swear, if that doesn’t get it, i don’t know what will. i feel like the sheer audacity of a line like that combined with a transfixed, Prince-like stare and an overly excessive LL Cool J combination lip-lick/purse is bound to get a woman’s attention, make her laugh and immediately swoon as a result of my infective wit…either that or inspire her to immediately keep walking, reading, etc. because it’s exactly what she’s used to…but guys can’t really be saying stuff like that seriously, can they?

if so, i don’t really care. it’s too many women walking around not to try some off the wall shit like that. besides, it worked for will smith and look at what he had to work with. i mean, geez.

makkah i agree with that 100%. some sensitive guys can be little bitches too. at least youve learned your lesson. dont start nothing and it wont be nothing!

modi i cant believe ur shy ur soo cute

get ‘em, modi

modi…you are not shy.

I just gotta say I loved reading everyone’s posts here. I watched the will smith vid and laughed. He is a great actor and the lines he spits are funny and original. It’s true, approaching girls on the dance floor is suicide. I’ve found like Dizz said, the best thing to do is go out with no intention of hunting. Grab a drink and go out there and just smile and have a good time! I’m sure a lot of people can attest to the line about You always find it when you’re not looking for it.
And how many people in the place have such a sour puss face when your walking around a club or whatever. Damn, I mean I don’t know about you guys but I paid money to get up in here, i’m gonna have fun with it!

I remember being torn apart by these two girls at a club. I picked up her phone after she dropped it accidentally, and when I tried to get her attention to give it back to her she basically cussed me out. I could have just tossed her blackberry into the river!

These are great words you have written on this here internet. It is also important to hold regular coaches meetings with brothers you know and respect. I, myself, believe that the #1 rule of running a successful team is DO NOT BECOME A DREAM PEDDLER. Also, watch who you sign. You might end up with a Ron Artest on your squad. Great all-around game but a damn basket case. Run scrimmages, Sign a 10 day contract if you have doubts. But, alas, I digress. This was a great post. It took me back to my early undergrad days as a young coach in the league. BTW, We definitely pioneered the “coach” analogy way back. We even had coaches meetings and drafts. But, it’s your world, fam. Stay up.

Cee

The trip to the club (although somtimes supprisingly epic) usually goes as follows:

……Not only are you ripped that your boys made you bounce from an actual bar where you were doing work with one of downtowns resident co-eds, (thanks in part to the dj playing blackstar and tribe at a “game runnable” volume rather than blasting a funny voice club jam at a head splitting 20 decibles), you’re realistic and understand that in leaving you’ve scoffed at what fate has deemed your smash oppertunity for the evening. After cussing your crew and droping an extra five at the door (because it’s “ladies night”,and chicks already spend too much when they hit the town right? Not to mention the usual 10 dollar cover per dude just won’t cover utilities that month), you see a sea of people your a pint of jager away from wanting to talk to. But, the degenerate individuals you made moves with have already taken steps to embarass themselves in a very public way…so you refrain from being “that dude” and decide you’ll give it a good honest shot. You find a really good looking girl who’s in the mid to upper level of your leauge, and then approach. Before even getting a chance to fully ask for her name, she scrunches her eyebrows and curls that lip, which is embarassing enough to stamp all women as scallywags and hit the bar with serious avengance, leaving nothing nothing in your wake but broken dreams from the bar before and a 100 dollar tab. All you have to say at the end of the night is, “One of you game killing clowns better be breaking tree when we get back to the spot”, and swear it will be the last time you ever visit an establishment that starts with the word “The” yet dosen’t feature a champaign room or offer lap dances.

B.Eazy

LOL i just laughed out loud. hard. after reading that last joint. B. EAZY, i need more comments that crucial.

This has been my afternoon entertainment…….
Just stay out of the club, or don’t go in looking for anything…… Rules to live by!

WHY ARE GUYS SO AGAINST THE GIRL ON GIRL ACTION??????

Girls dancing with other girls is the way we ease into dancing
with other people we DONT know. Guys cant really do that so
you go from being really stiff & spotting me to all of the sudden
being on me and that can be awkward or cute. If youre not rich or cute,
i’d stick to some conversations before hand to avoid the whole
“is he cute?” “no girl! bail! bail! bail!” incident. That way you can
show off your “swag” or whatever the fuck it is you compensate
looks and money for. & I really like shy guys, but I don’t expect
them to be in the clubs.

oh boy.

I was just looking at all those jersey’s…

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A big thank you for your post.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.

Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

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This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.