Who was the pretty face and the peanut brain?

Name the girl!!!

LOLOLOLOL

first that pic was frieghtening
second, well theres really not that much to respond to, i understand her points completely. it has happened to me, and im sire many others… so what if im mad sexy… what if im hella boring… sketchy… crazy…

and i can also see it from a guys perceptive… there’s has to be some sort of attraction… but still what if that “WHAT THE FUKC she is so fine” girl passes by you and when you say something to her and she goes psyco on you

but then there is an avg jane type of girl who is so off the wall but you’ll never know. ever…

on the other hand… pretty girls are taken just for that too, jus a pretty girl, no extra thought besides, “damn she fine” i think that is something not all of us think about… i came across this piece that probably explained it better than is did (kinda off topic i know, but hell, why not)

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=33067732

Enjoy!!

man…that picture is just wrong.

but yeah. i feel u on that response. what else do you have to go on besides the exterior if you don’t know anything? but women never go for that stuff, ’cause most of the time they just meet too many creepers. that’s why the on the street approach never works.

but yeah. pretty face and peanut brain…no good. no good at all.

okay given the fact that it is 1 30 in the mornin and he’s a total stranger WHY IN THEE FUCK DOES HIS NAME COUNT HIM OUT? lls am I the only one who caught that and thinks that’s retarded! lol okay you dated a jordan before soooo… I mean I don’t have that problem cause I haven’t ran across someone with my name like ever but lol I mean come on what kinda discrimination is that lmao. great post ima do something like this soon…

obviously there has to be some amount of physical attraction for any relation to happen…at the end of the day you can’t see a personality from the other side of the room, but you can see a nice face.

that being said, from a woman’s prospective, if the only reason you came up to talk to her is because of her good looks, what is going to stop you from leaving her for the prettier girl who could happen to walk by at any minute? NOTHING! so essentially, there is nothing she can do to make herself be unique from any other girl if the only attraction is physical…however! if its about personality, she can differentiate herself from every other nameless pretty face in the room.

pssh. i agree with that last sentence, but i don’t know if i agree with the assumption that if a prettier girl walks by, i’ll try and spit game to her.

girls, you reel us in with your beauty. if we get to know you and we like that vibe, you keep us there for a while. if you’re cool enough, nobody looks prettier than you. even if alicia keys walks by. we may look, but we aren’t leaving.

CHUUCH!!!

this pic, scares the shit out of me.

I agree with u Modi on the whole, not seeing the brains behind the beauty at first glance… but after midnight, as a female (approaching your house mind you) walking along side of a dude tryna holla from a car and ur alone…. hell naw!! its 2008 and we’re in a recession, cats are reckless. Now in the day light and away from your crib, we could hold a mini convo… Just being honest.

There are some good points on both sides but let’s call it what it is. She didn’t want to talk to him. Instead of hitting up her friends and retelling the story so they could laugh too, she put the transcript up on her blog to expose one of his many flaws. How many girls had an almost identical conversation? Like yesterday? He should’ve known by her very first “a second for what?” line that she wasn’t trying to hear it. His delivery was wack and it just digressed the more he talked. “don’t you want a ride home” could be translated into “is that for sale?” I think his delivery made her feel like he wasn’t interested in anything but a pretty face. So try to understand why she played him. An attractive girl by the time she’s twenty has heard every wack line there is, and there are many, at least twice. When you holler in public, you have about a half of second to make a good impression. He failed. Miserably. I don’t think it’s that difficult, but I’m from California, where they usually come hard.

Honestly, the “your boyfriend is lucky” line should’ve been flattering but by that time she was probably a little annoyed. He could have very well been a nice guy with good intentions and bad delivery. While he judged her on how she looked, she probably judged him on both how he looks and how he presented himself.

Do the mini crush antidotes not help her prove her point?

ok the professor is back to school you guys. this REALLY isnt as serious as it’s being made out to be. let’s break it down:

1. women are attracted to POWER/MONEY first, and then a tie between GREAT PERSONALITY and LOOKS. A woman will almost never admit it, but at the end of the day most of them only care about a man’s “status” and the more power he has, the more interested she’ll be. if some B-list celebrity would have been the guy who rolled up on her at 130am in a mercedes with rims i GUARANTEE you she would have been more interested then. and let’s not forget that the REAL reason she didnt pay the guy any attention, was that a.he wasnt cute in her opinion (had NOTHING to do with his delivery if she would have thought he was goodlooking) and/or b. his car was raggedy or “average”. there’s alot she left out of the story.

2. men ONLY care about a woman’s physical appearance INITIALLY. Modi pretty much summed it up by stating his case on how a woman’s brain can be intriguing, but that’s after the fact. for the most part ONLY APPEARANCE is what matters to most guys. after all, men dont meet women trying to make ALL of them lifetime lovers or soulmates. Men holla at women with ONE thing in mind. sure men can catch feelings AFTER they meet the woman, but INITIALLY it’s all about her physical appearance. if a guy had a chance to holla at 2 women and one was cute but fat and had everything he had ever wanted in a woman mentally, and the second woman had a peabrain and was just flat out dumb, but had a body and face that was everything he always wanted physically in a woman. guess which one MOST guys would choose INITIALLY. it’s not rocket science here.

it’s all a game of cat and mouse and men and women always play it and try to see who’s gonna win. at the end of the day women ALWAYS have the upper hand to begin with and only come out losing if they give up that position of initial dominance to the man.

^^realestate’s comment may cause some controversy with the ladies lol
its gonna be interesting.

but Yeah I’m gonna go ahead and agree with Modi on this one. When you first see a girl, a pretty face is all you can go off of…I know I’m not gonna go up to a woman I find unnattractive off break and just be like, ‘excuse me miss, you’re the apple of my eye.’ cuz see, that would be lying. I can speak from experience where I ended up liking a female whom I didn’t think was attractive at first. I’m not gonna go off that one moment all the time, though. Cuz there’s already something drawing me toward this other attractive woman.

Like mostly everyone said already, in defense of the creepy ass dude ridin slow in the street at 1:30, looks are the only thing you can go off of.

A question to the female writer (though she prolly wont see it) Are you supposed to just overlook that really cute guy in McDonalds because you know nothing about him? Lets be real everyone has hollered at someone they didnt know before based on pyshical appearance because if you dont know them in any way shape or form thats all you have to go on.

And just because you know a person doesnt mean you know them trust once things get romantic everyone changes. The changes just vary from person to person. Say you’ve known this guy or girl for forever like childhood friends, went to school together all your lives and even hungout together on the regular. Lets say one day you just happen to take a second look at them because before it was platonic. And you really look at them and say damn shorty look good, yall end up talkin and they turn out to not be that same cool ass guy/girl you once hungout with. They become too clingy or too prtective. CRAZY as we call it and yet you’ve known this person for a long ass time.

This is the dating game we play there is no way around it. Whether its physical or mental that attracts you to a person shit changes quick! So knowing a person isnt knowing person until its already too late.

-Chae’ Nice

And I just read the comments. Why are my fellow woman acting as if they dont just talk to guys based off of physical appearance. I mean is there something a scientist made somewhere that allows you to see a person personality right off the top? How much does it cost cuz I need to get one???

Everyone is a criminal to this claim of tryin to holla at someone just off physical…..I mean when everyone was around 14 or 15 and just begun to like really date, u went out with your friends and played alittle game we like to call booking. But maybe yall had yall personality scoops back then and even in your 14 or 15 yr old mind you decided you wanted the book with his head book. Not the one that has the long hair and he the basketall team captain, cute and stays fresh. Get that shit out of here. Be real you still do it now u want the same guy just older and to have more intectel.

What about the reverse. I mean girl’s are always asking to look inside but if the physical isn’t there then you are stuck.

Let me give you a recent situation. Me and this girl are working together now. Her personality is a 10 on a scale of one to straight bangin. Her looks are like a 4. But I soldier on, figure I can get over that. Things start poppin off, and shes feeling it and I think I am to. But when it hits the sheets there’s nothing there for me, no physical attraction. So it dies, but it dies viciously because we started on the intellectual/emotional and skipped the physical. To me that’s an even worse downfall.

I mean to say, do you want to get your feelings hurt or do you want to deal with a few sleezeballs. Take your pick.

So this is my first time commenting on this blog. However I couldn’t resist the temptation because I have a direct connection with this particular post. How, you ask? Lets start with the structure of the site (yes, the Logo DCtoBC) was created by a new friend of mine (yes I’m swimming with the ____). Then as I read it, I happen to noticed that I actually know one of your crushes Mr. Modi. And as a matter of fact, I’m always on her blog (CHEESE)! I hope you got my vibe (sp?). She’s a long time friend of mine, and we even wrote in our High School paper together (OB Edition). On the a lighter note, a valid point has been made, and yes its always been a physical attraction that drives a man to say hello even in awkward times like 1am. I’m not going to share my life story with females (although I have been the center of attention recently), but don’t “shiize” or “sauce” me (I believe thats a DC vernacular for what a Bostonian would call “shit on” or “gas me”) for this comment. B. Smiths anyone? It is HU’s homecoming, you can catch me on Georgia Ave.

-A Loyal LJEC Reader (and possible DCtoBC now and then contributor)

Omar A. (Man of Morehouse and local Boston native)

I feel you 1000%, that’s real..

I’ve caught myself in the same situation like just wanting to ask a girl out totally randomly.. I was even walkin back from class one day and held an umbrella over a random girl who was attractive and getting rained on. If she was unattractive would I have not done the same.. I don’t know. The fact that she was attractive though made me more likely to have an easy icebreaker to a conversation with a random attractive woman.. I even dropped the “this is awkward” line to show I’m not a total creep ya dig?

LOL goodness. anyone out there who needs an umbrella, sexy or not, will get an umbrella from me! that’s a true story, ask around.

Call a square a square. Dude in the car was a square. I don’t care if it’s 1:30am or 12noon, no man talks to a woman from the driver seat expecting results. And you damn sure don’t ask a girl at 1:30am if she wants a ride home. For serious clown? There’s a recession goin on people….men are fighting to keep their jobs….so why not fight to keep/get your women? Step out of the car and show the woman you’re about business. (clearly don’t just run up on her on a dark street…you might get maced like your name is Robert Kelley on a BOBW Tour)

As many of you have stated in one way or another, looks are what draw you in, and personality is what keeps you in. With that being said, I don’t get “Rachel” asking if appearance is all that matters these days. Would it change anything if her best friend had introduced her to the square in the car? No…he’d still be a square.

So what’s the big deal if a guy approaches a girl he finds attractive? No guy wakes up and says I hope I meet a pscycho dime! Every guy is hoping he hits the jackpot when he sees a cute girl, in hopes that she’s got a good head on her shoulders also(the whole package). THAT’S why we approach the random cute girl, scared we could let “one of the great ones” pass us by like that Pharcyde song.

just my thoughts people

it does make a lot of sense that guys don’t want to feel like they might let a great one pass by, but i guess for pretty girls it just gets old for people to only want to get to know you because they think you’re cute…however, apparently people don’t come up to talk to someone just for the hell of it if there isn’t some physical attraction. that being said, i think it’s stuck at a catch 22. would you rather have people come up to get to know you because they think you’re pretty, or have no one come up to you at all? i think everyone would choose the first option…it’s better to have someone find out you’re awesome, though they initially had iffy intentions, than to never have anyone even find out what you’re about

but! there are a lot of creepers out there who will only try to get at the pretty girl because they want to sleep with her…possibly even despite the fact that she has a good personality!

i don’t know, it’s a tough one

Okay, I was clearly being an ass earlier and I’ll respond to the blog without puns. But I personally don’t approach females at first glance, I give them some stares and get a feel for whether or not they are as equally attracted to me as I may be to them. Then if she’s with a group of girls, I’d go and introduce myself to all her friends first and take a long time with each one and start with the ugliest down to her. Eventually I’ll make my way to her and by then she’s ready to hand that number over. But in this instance, if I honestly seen a gorgeous young lady walking around the movie theater at 1am then I would simply ask “where you going?” then follow up with “be safe out there”. And hopefully catch her around the next time and say “hey its that girl that walks alone around 1am by movie theaters that’s when you go for the kill. Players menu, don’t play it out fellas.

-Omar A.

Omar A and every other wannabe “player” out there. if you even THINK you have to have “game” to get women, then youve already lost. Be YOURSELF and stop thinking everything is about “game”. all women REALLY care about is:

1. is he cute?

2. can he dress nicely (keyword: SHOES)

3. does he make me laugh?

4. where does he work or what does he do?

5. where does he live? (hopefully not with mommy and daddy)

6. does he have any money? (if he does have REAL money [or power], then this becomes NUMBER 1 ON THIS LIST BY DEFAULT)

7. does he have a girlfriend or wife?

8. does he have any kid(s)?

9. is he christian?

10. does he have a big _ _ _ _ ?

Game is not needed if you as a guy can answer all of these questions properly.

(im realestate and i proudly support this message……………)

“Then if she’s with a group of girls, I’d go and introduce myself to all her friends first and take a long time with each one and start with the ugliest down to her.”

LOL. you shouldn’t show the pretty one any love. make her think you didn’t even see her! that’s how G’s do it. also, real estate, it’s alllll about where you’re from. location-wise, and socio-economic background. when i was younger and i liked the hoodrat girls, their criteria was “do you have a car?” and when i upgraded from the ‘94 vw golf to the ‘02 sentra, my stock raised to them. but when you get to school, it’s about ‘potential.’ my dude skylar told me that girls fuck with people like us (meaning the black guys in schools, trying to get that education) because we have exactly that. potential. and i think he’s right.

but, R.E., your list is pretty thorough. except for the religion, and with the arrangement of those criteria.

it’s my charisma!

Real estate, not to foreclose your Century 21 questions. You’re obviously not going to get all of these questions answered in one approach. Its not a game but steps to actually seek a woman’s attention, whose attractive, by stares and a few words. Hope the bailout helped.

-Omar A.. (L+ALL+JEC)

foreclose your century 21 questions??? wow omar you and your kneeslappers……………….. do yourself a favor and stop while youre ahead because i would hate to embarrass you in front of all your peers.

Modi, trust me man, you guys are still in school and deal with mainly one type of woman. young ones. when you get to my age and start learning about ALL types of women, things like “where youre from” become irrelevant. i do agree that women do like cats getting an education, but after you graduate alot of your classmates will go back home to mommy and daddy and do absolutely nothing with that degree. a BA or BS doesnt equate to much these days so understand that after you graduate you have better fill that potential because women wont give two blue sh*ts if you have a degree and are still driving that 02 sentra while living at home with moms while youre trying to “find yourself”. im not talking to you because I KNOW you will be successful. understand that chasing MONEY is all you really ever need to chase. believe me, ive experienced it first hand. it was never hard for me to get women, but trust me, after i got the money, i literally NEVER had to even try.

and about the religion thing, i meant it. doesnt have to be christian, but it does have to be similar to what she believes. women (mature women) want a man that is spiritually matched with her. trust me man, again understand that YOURE talking about young women, and i am talking about women in general.

LOL i think we need to stop omar and real estate from throwing blows at each other. both of y’all have ran this comment section, no more blows! please!

and yeah, man. i believe you. i’m 22, you’re 28? 27? something like that. i take your word, but understand that the girls i’m talking to right now are like a half generation different than yours, too. things are changing a liiittle bit. not much, but there’s a little difference between our small generation gap.

No beef, I eat chic-filet. The call and respond segment by the same person is over.. I’m moving to the next blog or maybe next wordpress blog page.. Thanks for allowing me to join you guys for one amazing blog.. Keep up the good work.. Facebook ya boy Omar A. at Morehouse College.. Holla at cha boy..

LETS JUST EAT CHEESE!!

i mean if someone is going to come on here trying to be a humorously whitty smartass, at least be humorous, whitty and smart with the comments. not just an ass. if not, then yes i agree, the segment is indeed over. false confidence is the worst of all. women dont like cornballs.

Modi, I agree, things are changing. the only major changes though, are the clothes you wear, the music you listen to, and the dances you do. other than that, the MOST major change is the maturity level. a 22 yr old woman does not compare to that of a 28 yr old woman. not generalizing all of them, just saying that women your age are different then women my age. i have 1 woman and 1 guy who are your age that work for me, and trust me, nothing is really that different. abide by my list and youll see that as long as you have the confidence and ability to answer those questions properly you will never have problems meeting women. and if all else fails, just chase the MONEY and I GUARANTEE you that youll never have problems getting women.

wait so you’re hiring? i need a job sir. badly. hit me up. and damn. that was a hell of a final blow. good god.

real estate sounds like a schlong. chase the money?? poor guy. you can get women but i bet you’ll never be satisfied

lol that list real estate posted was on point.

goodness. women get no love in the responses to this post. that list is interesting, and dare I say… TRUE but why act like it’s a bad thing? When I’m damn near thirty years old, I’m not trying to waste time on some dude who I am not physically attracted to, does not make me laugh, has no interesting background, and does not have anything in common with me… REGARDLESS of the car he’s driving, the shoes he’s wearing, or the house he lives in.

Personality and delivery are key when talking to women. Sure.. PEOPLE like the material goodness (not just women, you KNOW guys pay attention to what women are wearing as well) but if we have the best conversation I’ve had in a while… and towards the end I find out you live with your mom… I wouldn’t just let that catch go. It’s the material things that give people a standard for what you’re “supposed” to have going for you. If you lack in one area, you damn well better be making up for it somewhere else. And that goes both to men and women.

Oh and I don’t think the girls posting were trying to say that we don’t judge by physical appearance as well… but a lot of times its the guys that are doing the “hollering”. Not every time. But most of the time. So the ball is in their court as far as determining if we’re cute enough to talk to, interesting enough to keep talking to.

WOW! I just had a good laugh. Let a woman get in here right quick. As a student at an all women’s college and a woman with many friends and family members of all ages, I feel like I can help you out a little bit. The problem here is everyone is making generalizations. Realestate’s list is probably accurate for a certain kind of woman, a shallow one who doesn’t “have her own”. There were some good criteria in there but good grief to five, six and ten. I’m not sure why we even have to discuss number seven…

On it being where you’re from, I don’t think that’s true. I think most women would agree that it’s not about where you’ve been but where you’re going. Men often think that women only care about nice cars and material things. But if you are driving an Escalade when you should probably be driving that more economical Honda Civic that you can afford to put gas in and afford the car payments then you get two points. If you live in NYC, why would you pay for overpriced car insurance when public transportation takes you everywhere you need to go? Cars depreciate as soon as you drive them off the lot. Buy a house or invest in something else. You attract a woman with a brain by making good decisions; it goes to your character. Maybe it’s the success that’s attracting the women and not the number of dollars in your bank account. Give us a little credit!

Potential is very important for women of all ages. A Black man with a BA/BS is rare so I think he’d still be attractive in that transition period. If you think about it, there are way too many women over twenty five messing with a man who isn’t doing shit. Their excuse is always that he’s just trying to get on his feet. There is a certain kind of woman who doesn’t have the time and patience to wait for that, but she might miss out. This is why the mother in the Pursuit of Happyness makes me sick. What a poor excuse for a woman, wife and mother.

And on the religion thing, right before I left for college, my cousin who has her law degree told me to find a husband while I’m in college because that’s the only place I’ll find a man like minded. I don’t know about all that, I’m too young for that. But once you think about getting married, you’re looking for someone who has similar values and goals. Religion may make it on the list for religious women looking for a husband.

LOL!!! chelsea called me a schlong!!!! LOL!!!! im not an ass, im just honest. and im married so maybe i am satisfied. im just speaking in general here. remember, this topic is about why guys talk to women in the first place. and the REAL answer is that for the most part, men talk to women with one thing in mind (not being sexist, let’s just be real people). and since guys are always “chasing” women, my advise was that instead of wasting their time with chasing women for sex, they should be chasing MONEY and never worry about chasing p*ssy ever again. Now whether theyre looking for a wife is something different and thats not what we’re talking about. so we’ll leave that for another day.

i think that my list is pretty accurate though and doesnt really only apply to “shallow” women. what kayla said is true, that a man’s intelligence and/or success is a major factor, and i guess i meant that when i stated #6, but just in a vague sort of way. The main thing here for guys to understand is that it doesnt take “Game” to get women’s attention, it takes much more. wannabe players use “game” as an excuse for trying to be cool or just simply trying too hard. its like all these garbage rappers using “swag” as an excuse to convince themselves that theyre good rappers when they damn well know the beat is the only reason their song is successful.

guys step YOURSELVES up not your “game”. your game should consist of EVERYTHING about you. not just you thinking you have the gift of gab, or using some corny ass pre-written punchlines or statments that you think will get you in good with the ladies. save that sh*t for the cornballs, and worry about stepping YOURSELVES up as real men. trust me, it will come through your aura. real women know the difference between a cornball and man who is sincere. it’s important to understand that women dont like:

1. jealous guys

2. OVERLY sensitive guys (yes it’s fine to be sensitive, but a strong man is what women want, not some sissy who cries about everything……………ricky WHAT UP!!! LOL!!)

3. guys with bad breath or hygiene.

4. insecure guys.

5. guys who cant think for themselves and do what everyone else does, ie their boys.

6. guys that are broke.

7. overly-conceited guys.

8. habitual liars. (men, most women already have you in this category by default and it is up to you to change her mind. guilty until proven innocent so to speak)

9. dogs or cheaters.

10. men who dont know what chivalry is and what it means to be a gentleman.

*BONUS – irresponsible guys and overly prideful guys who cant admit when theyre wrong.

Just follow this and the other list and you will be just fine. Again, just trust me on this.

I like everything about this entry except the Teenage Mutant Ninja Michael Jackson-looking bitch in the photo!

I do have to admit that RealEstate is right about the “step your game up” part fo whay she typed. A person’s “game” should be about who you are, and not some routine or scripted set lines used in an attempt to get laid. Focus on being the best you that you can, and it realy does shine through in your aura to those you meet.

That said, it’s also true that in the case of first impressions, that’s all you really have to go off of…So ladies can’t blame us men when we see someone we like and go after her!

Guys:

do you fall “in love” before the girl, then fall “out of love” first?

does this hold some significant value as to way guys cheat, move on when the girl is passionately hooked or emotionally drained from the bulls shit???

I never thought this could arouse such an argument, I thought I’d be the first to comment LOL. since there’s so much said, I’ma have to just get at that girl for no lettin the dude do his thing right, but honestly though, if she didn’t like him in the first place, I mean on a subconscious level, she could give any argument to blow him off, it wouldn’t matter – she just didn’t like him the way he liked her, and that’s it.

“Guys:
do you fall “in love” before the girl, then fall “out of love” first?
does this hold some significant value as to way guys cheat, move on when the girl is passionately hooked or emotionally drained from the bulls shit???”

(the following is a generalization and not meant to stereotype ALL men or ALL women)

Men (and women) are only as faithful as their options. men dont usually fall in love with women first (UNLESS they have sex, THEN yes the guy might fall in love first). that is irrelevant anyway. the REAL reason men and women cheat is…………………………………………….BECAUSE THEY CAN. i know some people may not want to hear that but it’s the truth. you can be the perfect woman and have every single quality that a man could ever wish for, but at the end of the day if the guy youre with has the option to be with other women at the same time without you finding out about it, then most often then not, he will. the same goes for women. everyone is so into playing games these days that its very difficult to find out who is being sincere and who isnt.

men who CAN cheat, probably will, and women who CAN cheat, will probably do the same. if a guy breaks up with you because he feels youre getting too close or putting too much pressure on him AFTER he started to show feelings towards you first, all that REALLY means is that he found someone (or something) else to take his mind off of you. his focus now will be to chase that other person until he gets tired of her as well. he will always try to keep his MAIN girl around because at the end of the day when a dog runs away from the house he/she will almost always return.

Hi.
I wrote the blog entry that he based this off of. A few things.
1. To whoever said something about his name counting him out…it was just a thought I had. I’ve dated guys with the same name before, it’s not a huge deal, just a random thought. Okay? Good. Glad we settled that.

2.My Main thing was…sure our “beauty” is what attracts men to us. But what about the ugly girls? I know it sounds shallow…but what do ugly girls do to attract men? How do they get boyfriends?

3. If our beauty is what attracts you all…does that mean that you just look at us and see an ass, boobs, hair, and a face? What about seeing past that? What about liking our style? What about a woman who looks intelligent? What about a woman who’s surrounded by people you know? Don’t you see more when you look at a girl?

4. You have to understand the situation…how are you going to stop me at 1:30 in the morning and try to talk to me from the window of your car? If all I deserve is you hanging your head out of a window, then why bother? I’m obviously not THAT worth your time, or you need some new manners.

5. Modi, thanks for getting a discussion started on this It turned out well. I better see you soon!

1. tru.

2. they amuse us in other ways! somebody will find them beautiful, anyway.

3. give me a sexy girl with no personality and in about a week i’ll realize that she’s more than just that. simple.

4. yeah, i disregarded the fact that it was late and stuff. that was weird enough. but i purposely guided the convo away from that. lol.

5. i’ll see u next time i’m in the A, shawty.

6. (bonus point) my crush on the girl who writes has *poof!* disappeared. she shows no love. zip zero, and is stingy w/ dinero.

I am not stingy with Dinero. Agree with you 100%. Everyone is different is the moral to this story!

yessssssssssssss

can anyone tell me why it is that men approach women most often in places where it is impossible to hold a conversation that will actually result in a good sense of who the other person is.

I agree with most of what has been said and I can see where everyone is coming from.
Let drop some knowledge and common sense to the dudes that are easily bewitched by beauty and body (more of the latter). Strike up a convo! It doesn’t have to be a super intelligent rant about Wilde or the importance of prose in American literature. How about asking me a really funny or witty question? Never “spit game” through a car window, at a strip clubs, etc. And most importantly, don’t get angry and spiteful if you get turned down.
When I meet guys, the interviewing process starts when they say hello.
Case in point: I was using a computer on campus and talking to this guy. All of a sudden, his friend, who had been completely silent, gets up and starts touching me and asking for a date!?!
There are a million things wrong with that, but I pulled the [fake] boyfriend card, really quickly.
His approach was completely off, he failed the interview.

I do believe that most girls operate with a particular (consciously or subconsciously). Physically, I think guys have stricter standards. However, when factoring everything in (intellect, potential for success, etc.), girls are definitely stricter. Guys (I speak from experience) are probably more likely to date a really pretty chick whose personality is so-so. The prettier they are, the more we are willing to sacrifice in terms of everything else. Of course, we don’t operate on extremes, but we tend to sacrifice a lot for a pretty face. Now, that does not mean we will date her for a long time. It only means that we are willing to put in work for her.

I know girls want a guy that is successful. It’s not about potential. If that was the case, then nerds would rack up in high school. They want a guy that can show his success.

Let me provide an example:

Consider a black dude that goes to a really prestigious law school. He is moderately attractive, social, and a decent thinker. He will probably make over 6 figures coming out of school, and normally tries to think ahead about the future. This dude probably has a high chance of being successful, but I’m confident girls won’t swoon over him. He might be interesting to them, but he hasn’t really proven anything. All he has shown is that he is a law student, and is about his business. In these stages, game and looks are probably more important. A girl needs to be persuaded that he is worth her time. This dude can spit off all of his accomplishments (corny), but a chick (around the ages of 20-25) probably won’t give a shit. I’m not sure how older women will think, but younger girls will probably put more value into the physical. Potential for success means very little at this stage.

The way I see it:

Girls from about 13-23-5 (HS and College) are more concerned with looks, game, and swagger. not as concerned about potential for success

Women 5 years removed from college/ closer to 30 (if not married) are probably more concerned with what a guy that can provide financially. The other HS/College factors are still relevant, but not as important as financial stability.

Women, correct me if I’m wrong. Also, does race factor into how girls operate? That is, are there any major differences between what black girls want? white girls? asian girls, etc?

The reason guys tend to approach a girl based on looks is really simple if you ask me. Appearance says a TON about who you are as a person. Many times a persons external appearance is a reflection of their internal drive, intelligence, self-discipline, and independence. Obviously taking care of your body, dressing stylishly, and just generally having a cool confident vibe is not the same as acing vector calculus, but it definitely says a lot about a persons character and time and time again has shown to be more important in an everyday persons success than their book smarts. Now don’t get me wrong theres a ton of crazy good looking women out there too just saying that when I see a fat or unattractive woman I assume something is wrong. Because VERY few girls are actually ugly most just dont take care of themselves right. For some women who have naturally larger physiques it can be harder but almost anyone can be fit if they stick to a sensible diet and exercise program for life. Most women wouldn’t want a guy who doesn’t shower, or shave, or have a job, or is overweight for pretty much the same reason

ok i kno this is old and mad people replyed and even if no one reads this im still gonna throw my 2 sense in

like everyone else said yeah we r only gonna approach them if there is a physical attraction unless we got to kno their mind first from seein them in a play a debate or wat ever u said befor

but keep it real wit the girl she did the right thing turnin the dude down…i kno if its a girl that im jus meeting in the store or on the street and she looks good the only thing on my mind is damn i wanna smash that,,,thats all that was on dudes mind cuz he asked wat she doin then asked her name and bam “so wats good wit ur number” he wasnt worried bout her interior

Ok, so I was just reading for the fun of it and absorbing everyone’s input. Certainly was a GREAT discussion and I was going to walk away satisfied until I read Dawun’s post.

Dawun, I agree with your first paragraph. That’s where it stopped.
This may seem like a detail in the overall discussion but it’s certainly an important one to me. Call it being snobby or stuck-up or whatever you want but at least in my circle of friends, it is ALL about potential. Please give us 18-25 year-olds more credit. Sure in high school, we all (guys and girls) fell in lust with a pretty face or two even if they showed absolutely no signs of potential in the future. However, once you get to higher education, I think priorities change.

Potential is not just about financial stability. A man that shows the desire to progress within a given field, also demonstrates a very sexy quality that I don’t think has been mentioned yet: DRIVE.

Personally, I will pay more attention to a so-so looking dude in a good school, than the pretty boy who started working straight out of high-school (no offense to anyone). By talking to dudes on the same educational track as me, I can be sure of a few things:

1) Spending time with him will probably not mean watching the entire line up of BET and there will be sufficient conversation to keep things interesting on a day-to-day.
2) When I have school commitments he will respect them.
3) I probably have a good idea of his background. (Note: this doesn’t mean that a man who comes from poverty gets the boot. It’s the exact opposite. If you grew up poor and made it to a good school, not only do you show your personal ambition, but you also probably came from a family that supports education even above financial hardship).
4) He probably doesn’t have kids.
5) He probably is friends with people I already know, or like-minded individuals.
6) When he graduates from college he is in a much better position to land a great paying job (or continue his education–Law students are the definition of sexy).
7) He’ll understand me better because he’ll have to have some idea of how hard I worked to get where I am. He is aware that finally utilizing that potential doesn’t just make him a grown man–he is laying the foundation for those important things in life, like having a STABLE family. He isn’t jumping the gun and leaving life to chance.

Now, I know I’ve been typing for a while but here’s a quick anecdote to put this all in perspective. I was bartending a party on New Years Eve at a prestigious school. I also attend a WELL KNOWN school, one that usually leads to a “Damn girl, you’re pretty AND hella smart” type of response. This kid comes up to talk to me with the usual “hello, what’s your name, miss?” polite introductions. He proceeded to ask if I went to the school the party was held in. I said no I didn’t and when he asked where I went to school I responded truthfully. His eyes didn’t pop, he didn’t get excited–he simply said “oh ok…where’s that at?”
And that conversation was over.

* and that’s supposed to be a #8…not a smiley face.

“girls, you reel us in with your beauty. if we get to know you and we like that vibe, you keep us there for a while. if you’re cool enough, nobody looks prettier than you. even if alicia keys walks by. we may look, but we aren’t leaving.”

the BEST. this is the exact kind of thing i love to hear.

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